Where Are You, Kara?
by callietomyarizona
Summary: Lena Luthor has moments left on earth to live and she can only think of Kara. (warning: major character death)


_I wrote this in one sitting and may have cried when writing it. _

* * *

No matter how many times Lena had rung Kara in the last half an hour, her calls remained unanswered and unreturned. She'd even tried contacting the blonde using the hidden button on the watch she'd been given. But to no avail, Kara did not come.

The earth was shaking, buildings were crumbling, the sky was red, and Lena was scared and alone. Through the open window in her L-corp office, Lena could hear people screaming in the distance; calling for their loved ones and shouting out prayers to every god under the sun.

_Of course this is how it all ends. All alone with no friends or family. Of fucking course._ Tears were streaming down her cheeks, pinked with a cocktail of anxiety and sadness. She poured herself another scotch and sat on the sofa, which only made her sob harder as that sofa made her think of Kara and all the moments they had shared sat there together. As she choked back tears, memories of her best friend flash through her mind.

_"I'm not a reporter" "You could've fooled me"_

_"Who would've believed it: a Luthor and a Super working together"_

_"I've never had friends like you before. Come to think of it, I've never had family like you. No one has ever stood up for me like that." "Well, now you have someone that will stand up for you. Always"_

_"Supergirl may have saved me but, Kara Danvers, you are my hero"_

_"I'm not going anywhere"_

_"You're my favourite"_

_"Kara, I promise you, you are safer with me. I got you"_

_"I figured you were worth the extra effort"_

_"That's what friends are for"_

_"You're not going to lose me"_

_"It's one of the things I love most about you"_

_"Well you're not going to lose me"_

_"I will always protect you. I promise"_

_"Kara Danvers believes in you"_

Kara Danvers. Sweet, innocent and dorky Kara Danvers who, almost since they'd met, she had harboured secret feelings for. She was okay though with the love being unrequited, she would rather deal with her feelings than lose Kara's friendship.

She missed Kara's friendship since she killed her brother and found out her best friend's identity. She'd never been one to cry since the Luthor's adopted her as Lillian had done everything in her power to ensure that Lena knew that "Luthor's don't cry" and even actively punished her when she was younger for shedding a tear; no matter the circumstances. However, that all changed when she met Kara and their friendship (and her feelings blossomed). Kara had broken down her barriers and allowed her to feel, slowly erasing the numbness she had felt for the past ten years.

Her sadness only increased when she realised that Kara would either be with her family and friends as the world drew to an end or be flying around National City and trying to save the world. Lena cried more for the loss of the idea of Kara Danvers. Realistically, she knew that nothing had changed about her best friend, but it still hurt, often feeling as if someone was twisting a knife inside her chest. She'd never experienced a proper heartbreak, but this is what she imagined it would feel like and she hated it.

With a tear stained face, Lena's sadness turned quickly to anger when she tried to contact Kara for what seemed like the millionth time and received no response. She knew she was being irrational, but she couldn't help it. "Why won't you come and see me?!" She shouted into the sky. "Did you really hate me that much that the world is ending, and you won't come say goodbye, even for a minute? Was our whole friendship a lie?"

The next thing Lena knew, she was standing at the window and raising her fist to the sky. "Do you really think that little of me?"

She could see her reflection in the window and upon seeing her face in the glass looking back at all red and blotchy, her anger bubbled over and her fist met the window. Hard.

Thankfully, the glass in the window is reinforced and bullet proof, so it doesn't break. But it does hurt. A lot.

_Fuck_. Shaking her hand in pain, she lets out a scream that is raw and primal in nature.

"Why couldn't you have just told me? Told me who you are. You knew I'm nothing like my family so why couldn't you be honest with me?" She pressed her forehead against the glass, no longer cool due to the chaos that was happening outside. "Did you really not trust me?" She cried out "I practically begged you not to lie to me yet every day, for years, you lied to my face. That's what hurts the most."

In the distance, she could see anti-matter creeping down the street, devouring everything in its path. That was when it really set in that she was going to die unless a miracle happened. That miracle being Supergirl.

She fell to her knees as huge sobs erupt from her face, face still pressed against the glass "I'm sorry" She called into the sky, praying that Kara, wherever she was would hear her "I'm sorry for ruining our friendship and I'm sorry for being angry just now. It's more myself that I'm angry at. Especially for the way I behaved and treated you. Please come back to me Kara. Supergirl."

She tried to continue calling to Kara, pleading with the sky to come and visit her but she choked on her words which just made her sob harder. "I miss you" She whispered against the glass.

"I deeply regret reacting so badly. I just felt so betrayed, but I know that you did it to protect me and knowing how kind you are, it isn't a decision you would have taken lightly. You are so good Kara and I admire your positive outlook on life, even though you've been through so much. You still see the good in everything and everyone. Even when, like me, they probably don't deserve it."

The anti-matter was drawing nearer and nearer, and the world was getting darker. Lena wondered where Kara was, if she was okay, scared or even if she was alive. The last option scared her too much, so she pushed the scariest thought she could think of out of her mind. If she was to die, that was not what she wanted to think of when the time occurred.

Lena knew that if she would ever utter the words, she'd kept to herself all these years, now would have to be the time because she could be dead in a few minutes. "I love you, Kara Zor-El. I love you so much" She called out into the sky, praying that Kara could hear her, no matter where the blonde Kryptonian was. "I'm sorry that I never told you before, I was too scared to ruin our friendship; but I did that anyway. I ruined the best thing that happened to you because I was scared and angry. But I love you Kara and I miss you."

Anti-matter started to crawl through her office, and she knew her time was up. Once again, she opened the watch and pressed the symbol of hope. She knew it was a long shot, but she wanted Kara with her in her last few moments. It was selfish of her, but at this point; she didn't care.

The window was the furthest point from the anti-matter so she stood there, to give herself an extra few seconds to make peace with what was about to happen and prepare herself for whatever afterlife awaited her.

"I love you Kara" she shouted as loudly as her voice would let her "I'm sorry I wasted these last few months being angry for no reason. I'd do anything to change it if I could."

As her office disappeared before her eyes, it really hit Lena that she'd never see the adorkable blonde ever again. That's what hurt the most. She'd never be able to see her beautiful blue eyes ever again, or her cute smile or the way her cheeks flushed with colour when it was cold or see the joy that spread through all of her body when she saw food, particularly pot stickers. She would never hug her best friend, the love of her life again or tell her to her face that she was sorry. She hated herself for that.

She sank to the floor, back against the window and looked at the picture she kept on her desk of her and Kara. She pressed the button on the watch, using Morse code; just in case Kara could hear it. She knew she was being silly, but she didn't care.

.. .-.. - ...- . -.- - ..-

She kept typing this over and over as certain death drew nearer. There was nothing she could do but prey that the beautiful and brilliant blonde could hear her. "I hope we'll see each again someday, my love"

.. .-.. - ...- . -.- - ..-

The last thing Lena saw before total darkness swept over her was Kara's face smiling at her. With a weak smile, Lena kissed the photo as she had done before too many times to count.

.. .-.. - ...- . -.- - ..-

"I'll see you soon, yeah?" She said to the photograph as if Kara had just walked out of her office after one of their many shared lunches on the sofa and in the office that was no more. With one last kiss to Kara's face, her heavy tear drops hit the glass of the photo frame and clutched it to her chest. Lena closed her eyes and thought of Kara smiling at her as the anti-matter washed over her body as she ceased to exist.

* * *

_The morse code (according to google) means I love you_


End file.
